Post by Emmy Rossum on Jan 23, 2012 4:13:06 GMT -5
Wait a minute... what am I doing in a modelling competition? I'm a celebrity, goshdarnit!
I'm scheduled for a pedicure on Hollywood boulevard today, and... wait, is that Katy Perry? I freakin' HATE that bitch. I was totally all upons with Russell Brand at the Get Him to The Greek afterparty, and then he totally shut me down, because, get this, he's married. To her. And she goes around wearing whipped cream and crap like that.
She's obviously kidnapped me, and now she wants me to have to model, because she's jealous that Russell divorced her, and she thinks it'll prove that she's prettier than me or something. Well, guess whose house in Beverly Hills he ran to as soon as the papers were signed, honey? Just guess! Yah-huh.
Jake Gyllenhal was all:
Really. Katy Perry may be hot, then she's cold, she's yes than she's no, she's in than she's out, she's up then she's down, but Emmy Rossum is always hot, always yes, always in, and always down for anything.
If that little minx wants to try and get back at me by making me strut my stuff, well, hey. That's nothing I can't handle.
If my publicist calls, tell her I'm on a vacation, giving food to starving children in Africanesia, or someplace. If Russell calls, put him on speakerphone, so that Katy can hear the two of us making sweet little kissy noises at each other.
Nobody kidnaps Emmy Rossum and gets away with it...
I'm scheduled for a pedicure on Hollywood boulevard today, and... wait, is that Katy Perry? I freakin' HATE that bitch. I was totally all upons with Russell Brand at the Get Him to The Greek afterparty, and then he totally shut me down, because, get this, he's married. To her. And she goes around wearing whipped cream and crap like that.
She's obviously kidnapped me, and now she wants me to have to model, because she's jealous that Russell divorced her, and she thinks it'll prove that she's prettier than me or something. Well, guess whose house in Beverly Hills he ran to as soon as the papers were signed, honey? Just guess! Yah-huh.
Jake Gyllenhal was all:
Really. Katy Perry may be hot, then she's cold, she's yes than she's no, she's in than she's out, she's up then she's down, but Emmy Rossum is always hot, always yes, always in, and always down for anything.
If that little minx wants to try and get back at me by making me strut my stuff, well, hey. That's nothing I can't handle.
If my publicist calls, tell her I'm on a vacation, giving food to starving children in Africanesia, or someplace. If Russell calls, put him on speakerphone, so that Katy can hear the two of us making sweet little kissy noises at each other.
Nobody kidnaps Emmy Rossum and gets away with it...
