Letters To My Haters, Part 2

[Emmy Rossum]

So sorry for the delay in my snarky followup to my last post, but things have been crazy and a half.

So, when we last left our heroine, she was being threatened by the great and terrible... Something-mi Something-saki.

My archnemesis, apparently

Now, as you'll recall, Hello Kitty laid out a very specific plan for how she was going to destroy me. Behold!

Feb 6, 2012 18:28:20 GMT -5 Ayumi Hamasaki said:

I will be doing my best to ensure that Sarah will get the better photo, and you end up eliminated.

Now, I found this post hilarious, because Ayumi not only completely epicfailed to do every single thing she predicted, but she also epicly bitchslaps her "best friend" Sarah twice in one sentence.

See, it's actually pretty insulting that Ayumi doesn't have enough faith in Sarah to let her "best friend" pick out a photo all by herself like a big girl - and it's even funnier when you realize that Ayumi started this fight to defend Sarah. This whole thing started because Ayumi thought I was insulting Sarah when I wasn't, and in trying to defend her friend, Ayumi actually winds up blatantly exposing that she herself thinks that Sarah is weak.

Suddenly sees what Ayumi did thar

As hilarious as that is, there's actually a second, even funnier thing that Ayumi is saying here. Notice that she said that her intention was to make sure that I got eliminated? In order to do that, Sarah and I would have to be the last-place team, which means that Ayumi is saying outright that she is going to purposely "help" her bestie place second-last.

Didn't really think that one through, eh, Ayumi?

Criminal mastermind par excellence

Needless to say, I wasn't particularly worried. I mean, when the person who hates you most comes up with the genius plan to beat you by purposely sabotaging your teammate, it's not really a problem.

"How are you gonna attack me next? By punching yourself in the face?"

Where this got funny was when Sarah actually came up to me asking what photo I was going to use for the shoot. Like... as much as I like you, Sarah, your friend literally just finished saying that she was going to make sure your photo was better than mine.

"Yeah, let me ponder this one for about zero seconds."

I just told her I'd already submitted, and it didn't matter. And, of course, it didn't. I went on to take second, and Team Ayumi successfully accomplished their goal of getting Sarah to take second-last.

Nice work!

[Emmy Rossum]

Now, before I continue my blatant mockery of Ayumi, it occurs to me that some of you out there in readerland might be thinking to yourselves, "Emmy Rossum totally deserves all of the crap she's been putting up with. After all, she did totally split up team Pink in round two when she had the power."

You think I'm the villain? You think I'm a hypocrite who's pissed that I got a triple dose of my own medicine?

Well, you're wrong.

I'm actually honestly not sure whether splitting up Team Pink is what got me blacklisted, because I've heard that it could also have been my allegiance to Troian.

First, a little background about me and Troian. We probably first met in ANTM4, when he was a judge and I was a player. I started judging after that, and while he and I didn't always agree, I respected the fact that he would rank photos according to his own opinions.

However, last season, Ayumi took issue with that, and reamed Troian out for being "a bad judge," and basically convinced him that everybody hated him and wanted him to step down. That's why he's playing this season, and not judging.

I took pretty serious issue with that, because I fully support a judge's right to base their rankings on whatever criteria that they choose. I've seen judges in this series purposely rank models dead last for having personally insulted them, and I've seen photos that happened to meet one or more judges' personal interest get high rankings even if the quality wasn't 100% there. Sure, Troian's rankings might not have made much sense, but I can't think of a single time where they ever had any real negative effect, (ie sending a model home who didn't deserve to).

I also never heard a single complaint about Troian as a judge from any player in any of the four cycles I judged with him, but I was subject to several hours of complaints from several players about Ayumi.

Pretentious and stupid, according to popular opinion.

Now, with that in mind, I'm going to point out that I never once allied myself with Troian during this game, until she was my teammate and helping her was the only way to keep myself alive.

I actually have no freakin' clue where the "Kill Troian" plan came from. Obviously it had something to do with Ayumi, for whatever stupid petty reason, wanting to humiliate Troian again after bitching her out and getting her to quit judging.

I mean, seriously. You already told the guy he sucks, got him to quit judging, and now you're attacking him again? What the hell is your problem?

And because I'm not the kind of person who vengefully tracks down someone I've already beaten and tries to humiliate them further, and because I split up Sarah and Miley, I get hated on.

Let's talk about splitting them up, actually, because I feel like that got misinterpreted.

I purposely took the members of the strongest team, and put them with members of the weakest time. I'll totally admit to that.

Guilty as charged.

Now, I'm sure there was a lot of bitching and moaning about why I did that, but I think nobody actually paid attention to what I did not do.

I did not make a move that screwed over any one person or team. I levelled the playing field for everyone.

I also did not show any favoritism to friends or alliances. I'm a friend of Miley's, and she went batcrap crazy about the fact that I did that. Exactly why she did so is unclear to me. If I respect someone, I'm not going to purposely ignore the fact that they're my biggest competition. It's not called America's Next Top Best Friend.

So, if you want to say that I did a bad thing by making the game more fair and equal for every single person, then go nuts. Fact of the matter is that I did the most fair thing that I could possibly think of to do. I'm of the very biased opinion that I don't deserve to be the villain here, especially given that my rival has spent the whole game screwing around with friendships and alliances, trying to sabotage other people. I play these things for fun, not to relive high school.

I dunno. That's my random way of saying that as much as I'm being catty and mocking Ayumi nine ways to Sunday, that it shouldn't be taken as me cruelly making fun of someone I've wronged. I think I'm pretty justified, personally.

[Amanda Kimmel]

Dear Emmy,

You are awesome.

Girls' night out? On me?

XOXOXO,

Amanda

[Emmy Rossum]

Dear Amanda,

Any time.

I'll dance the flamenco.

Love,
Emmy

[Amanda Kimmel]

Oh, and as for Troian - I didn't have a problem with him until Cycle 7, when he ranked Ayumi last EVERY round but one or two and never really gave a good reason for it.

And what happened with All-Stars... he got defensive when I asked him to explain himself. I was not hating on his rankings, I just wanted them to make sense. When he accused me of antagonizing him, that was it. If he had handled that situation better, then I wouldn't dislike him. He has every right to his own opinions, but when asked to explain them, he should. That's all I wanted: to know WHY. I'm not like Ayumi - I don't hate for disagreement or hold grudges unless they're very warranted. I just hate for invalid opinions. He didn't validate his.

I don't hate him, but I honestly don't think he's the best judge in the world. He seems like a nice guy even with his temper...


Also I love how most of the drama this season involves all the ex-judges xD

[Emmy Rossum]

*shrug*

I'm not accusing you of anything.

But, based on this last photoshoot, the devil is unstoppable.

[Amanda Kimmel]

I was just trying to give insight into other people's dislike for him. That's really it. Sorry for not clarifying <3


Wanna go out tonight for our little GNO? We can invite a few people!

[Emmy Rossum]

Sure! Invite the other judges.

Troian can come too. And Ruby, because she said I deserved FCO.

[Amanda Kimmel]

Can I invite Miley too?

[Emmy Rossum]

No. Who the hell do you think asked Anne to give me Troian in round three?

[Amanda Kimmel]

Oh come on! She's not as bad as Ayu. Can't we at least have you and Miley forgive each other?

[Emmy Rossum]

Believe me, I tried. Given how hard my apology got shot down... I'd say probably there isn't much chance of forgiveness happening. I'm not mad at her or anything, but I certainly am not inviting her to my pity party.

[Amanda Kimmel]

...pity party?

[Emmy Rossum]

Yes. I'm being all whiney and selfish because I'm pretty f'ed at this point, and it's depressing to go into the final shoots knowing you're probably screwed no matter what. So girls' night out is going be me getting outrageously drunk, then weeping into my glass about how I should have gone a less risky route in round one, and gone with privacy instead of gay marriage. Miley would be all "you deserve it!" and that's not welcome.



But, such is the game. Ayumi may be a megalomaniacal petty conniving bitch who's ruined the past two seasons by not understanding that these games are supposed to be fun, but I can't deny that she has the better portfolio.

ETA: Alright, fine, I guess Miley doesn't have any hard feelings, so neither do I. Looks like your wish came true, Amanda.